things he said

Our littlest one is getting bigger and I think I'm okay with it. The 'last time' things were hard: last day of Kindy, last day of childcare, last regular Thursday morning with Grandma. School? He's loving it and he has his big brothers there to take care of him. I've been really busy. I'm far more positive about it all than I predicted I would be.

I've been keeping a record of the funny little things Clem has said. The following is the contents of a document that's been sitting on my computer desktop and added to for a while now. I don't wish he'd stay little forever but I sure do want to preserve the memories of his littleness.

gingerbread cook

“My tiny ear is very dead.”

"hometel" (what 3y.o. Clem called our hotel base on holiday in Sydney)

“Mama can eyebrows grow?” (Yes) “Mama I guess we’ll have to cut my eyebrows when they get longer and longer and longer until they get down to my tummy.”

“I keep trying to swallow that slug thing down but it comes back up. In my throat. Mama it’s slimy. Do you have one?”

idly singing: “tiny kangaroo bounce… tiny kangaroo bounce… tiny kangaroo bounce” (for Tie Me Kangaroo Down)

“Mama did you have teeth when I came out of your mouth?”

birthday schoolboy

Seeing Georgie Parker on Better Homes & Gardens: “Mama, how did she get there? Did she just crash out of the walls from Play School and just drive there?”

“I’m not four years old. I’m four years new!”

Clem, feeling his chest: “Mama, is your heart hard?” Me “Well it’s a very strong muscle, but it’s not hard like bones.” “Well can it get… can it be broken?”

turning five is exhausting

Long day, Andy out at a meeting, giving cranky Clem a Yakult as dessert and as I popped the straw in he said "is that the last straw?" ... I had to laugh.

Clem: “Mama and Dada, look, I made a butterfly!” (making a shape with his feet) Us: “Oh that’s beautiful darling!”  Clem: “And now…” (changing the shape) “… a dead one.”

“Dada, did you know your hair is part of your eyebrows, because it’s almost starting to touch it.”

don't be fooled by the sweetness

About Justine Clarke, children’s singer: “Mama, Justine doesn’t fart, never ever. And she never ever goes to toilets.”

Clem on the toilet: “Owowowowow it’s a spiky one… it’s a puffer fish kind of one…” (I collapse laughing) “Mama it’s not funny… well it’s a tiny bit funny.”

“Mama is as beautiful as a bird.”

Me to Charlie, about a small school t-shirt: “It’s not the end of the world.” Clem: “Mama, when is it the end of the world?”

Clem, looking at the clothes I chose for him for kindy: "Mama, they won't like that, or that." Me: "Who won't?" Clem: "The girls!"

just hanging

Clem went on an excursion today: "There was an explorsion at kindy this day and we saw a worldpool. And the person talked about the Aborniginal stuff."

I took Clem to visit his baby cousin and afterwards he asked me "How did they know his name is Curtis?”

Doing a wee at the same time as Andy: “You’ve got a giant willy. It’s got smoke coming off it.” (er, it was a cold night)

"Mama, one day I would like to grow some snapping plants. But when they get too old, can you put a string around they mouths so they can’t bite you? Make it very strong?"

"They’re not called women. They’re called womans!"

saying goodbye on his last day of childcare

"Mama, because you eat caffeine coffees, that’s why you’ve stopped growing. But I don’t want to stop growing."

Clem: "Mama, what's at the end of the rainbow?"   Me: "A pot of gold!"   Clem: "No."   Me: "Oh, what then?"  Clem: "Purple!"

reluctant to leave his last day of childcare, doing an endless puzzle

(discussing the goldfish in the pond outside and why they hadn’t reproduced) “We had a daddy fish and he laid some eggs and maybe when he was sitting on them they got too hot so they didn’t hatch. And he died because he got too hot as well.”

"Mama, ‘bye’ in French is ‘konichitty – bood – yeah’."

"I don’t have very listening ears because they’re blocked."

I commented that the piece of wood he was holding had been eaten by termites.

“Termites? Hahaha! It’s ter-na-mites! Not termites. Haha!”

"I’m five and I’m completely five and I go to school!"

all dressed up on his first morning of school

family of five with the newly minted five-year-old

(By the way, a few days later, I cut their hair. All of those mopheads. Not too much, but this was getting ridiculous.)

I do hope that's not quite the end of the 'funny Clem words' document. But he is bursting with pride about his growing up and for the most part, so am I.

- Jane x