1. Mentally steel oneself for the chicken 'processing' by reading many websites, watching lots of River Cottage and YouTube videos.
2. Select bird that has been crowing from the flock and capture it quickly and calmly for a minimum of stress.
3. Talk gently to bird as it is swiftly and cleanly dispatched by husband.
4. Place bird in old pillowcase and pluck feathers by hand, capturing all feathers in pillowcase. This takes a fair while but keep going.
5. Clean bird according to instructions found on the internet. Decide can't cope with feet, liver etc at this point and bury together with head and entrails in back yard.
6. Agree that husband should barbecue bird right away to get it all over with. Be unable to eat it just right now.
7. Tie end of pillowcase in double knot and throw in washing machine with intent to perhaps eventually stuff a cushion with feathers.
8. When washing cycle has finished, discover pillowcase has come undone.
9. Spend next week plucking rooster feathers from washing machine drum, filter and subsequent loads of washing. Pluck, pluck, pluck.
10. Summon nerve to taste rooster next evening. Discover it is almost inedibly tough because we did not 'rest' the meat for a couple of days.
11. Decide that is enough 'connecting' with chicken meat raising and the earth and universe and all that and resolve to take the rest of the roosters in a batch to be professionally 'processed'.
- Jane x